Raymond A. Defeo

Raymond A. DeFeo, 88, of East Moriches, passed away peacefully at his home, on December 6, 2020.

Born in Mt. Kisco, NY, Ray was the son of Marion and Andrew DeFeo. Ray devoted his professional life to education, earning his teaching degree at Buffalo State and later his Masters Degree and Doctorate at Columbia University. Serving in public education for nearly 40 years Ray was known locally, statewide and nationally for his leadership where he served as a teacher, high school principal, Deputy Superintendent of Putnam-Northern Westchester BOCES, completing his career as District Superintendent of Suffolk 1 BOCES where he served for 14 years, retiring in 1991. Ray throughout his life was an ardent advocate for public education where he strongly stood by his belief that quality educational programs and services supporting school districts could be enriched when school districts shared resources as members of a cooperative. The Dr. Raymond A. DeFeo Administration Building in Westhampton Beach reflects the educational community’s  acknowledgement of the leadership that Ray provided.

Ray was an extraordinary, loving father, grandfather, great grandfather, and friend to many. His love for family was his driving force in life.  Known as “Papa” to his grandchildren in his later years, they loved spending time together. Visits to “Papa’s house” whether Papa lived next door, or several hours away was always a cherished time. As a father, “Dad” was always ready to listen, help, coach, and cheer for family.

Family to Ray included cousins, nephews, aunts, uncles, as he loved to organize and support family reunions, and was always ready to help in any way possible to bring family together.

For many friends Ray was known as a fierce competitor on the tennis court, where giving every game his best effort was carried beyond the court to all aspects of his life.  When faced with the challenges of two bouts of cancer and two strokes, Ray fearlessly engaged them all with dignity, grace and perseverance.  His many close friends saw both his competitive zest for life and his compassionate interest in building and maintaining genuine friendships.

Ray is survived by his former wife, Phyllis Sabito and mother of their four children;  Linda DeFeo Cascioli (Kenneth) of Putnam Valley, Andrew DeFeo (Karen Teale) of Altamont, Laurie DeFeo of Dover Plains, Douglas DeFeo (Elizabeth) of East Moriches; six grandchildren Kristin DeFeo Northrup, Andrea DeFeo Barcomb (Greg), Chelsea Simunek, Nicholas Cascioli, Anthony DeFeo and Kenneth Cascioli (Laura). Ray was predeceased by his loving sister Margie.