Diane K. Pernesiglio

Mom passed peacefully and quickly today, at 1:20 this afternoon surrounded by our family

As her son, I was able to fulfill one final request of hers.

Please read below:

Remember Me With Love

In memoriam.

I have no prior education in writing nor was I an English major so ask that you please grade me on a curve for any grammatical errors. Mom always loved the way I wrote. Whether it was a book report for school, a press release or memorials I’ve written for the many loved one’s we’ve lost. Especially in the past two years.

After writing a memoriam to our Grandmother, Evelyn last year, Mom. You asked me to write one about you. At the time I felt weirded out about doing it for two reasons. One, you were still alive, and two, because writing these things are such unbelievable emotional roller coasters. They take hours of getting up and stepping away from the computer to have emotional breakdowns and little sleep and I couldn’t stand the thought of you no longer with us. You said, “But I’d want to hear what you have to say about me while I’m still here, I won’t hear it after I’m gone.” For a year I kicked around the idea of writing it for you and still never felt completely comfortable about doing it. Now. sitting here in Peter’s kitchen there’s an overwhelming need to write this and read it to you before you completely slip into the next life.

My mother was born Diane Kathleen Buckley on August 14th, 1944. Born while my Grandfather was fighting in the South Pacific in World War II. He returned home when she was just over a year old. Five years later, Master Sergeant, Henry Buckley shipped off to Korea. After Korea, my maternal grandparents settled back home in the town of Islip to raise my mother and her little sister, Maureen whom she adored.

Mom and Dad went to neighboring high schools in Islip and East Islip. Dad enlisted after graduating and was home on leave from the Air Force when they were introduced. They met at a house party through a mutual friend, John Simmons. They got married on Valentines day, 1965 while Dad was on leave from the Air Force. My bother, Peter was born in 1970. In 1974 Mom and Dad got a big surprise during a routine pre-natal doctor visit when they found two heartbeats. Mom was pregnant with my sister and I…surprise!

Mom doted over us like any mother would. Birthdays, holidays, boy scouts, girls scouts or the racetrack. Unfortunately with the changing times and irreconcilable differences, my parents grew apart and eventually divorced in the early 80’s. Dad remarried years later but Mom never did. Mom was a single parent before it was popular. She had a house keep up and weekly custody of us three kids. With just a high school education, she worked at every job you could think of to make ends meet, even using her culinary skills to make seasonal chocolates and sweets to sell.

Mom sacrificed her life so us three kids could have a better one. When I walked in her door at 24 years old and told her I want to quit the car dealership go back to school for television production because I knew, in my heart, as crazy as it sounded, I was going to be a racing reporter on TV one day. She didn’t bat an eye to co-sign on my student loans knowing full well of the financial repercussions if it didn’t work out. She believed in me more than I did and took that leap without thinking twice. How does one measure a mothers love?

Mom was a jack of all trades. She could cut hair and do the work of most beauticians. She was a talented seamstress who could hem a pant line or create a costume for Halloween or a school play. She could interior decorate and man, did she love having a green thumb. Of course, you could always catch her outside raking leaves or dancing around the house to Fleetwood Mac or Queen. She was an amazing cook who could prepare anything and everyone raved about her signature rice pudding. Mom always loved having a well manicured front yard with colorful flowers.

She had this incredible ability to take anything in the house and turn it into a gift. Give her a glass cup, a handful of fun-sized candy, colored cellophane and some ribbon, BOOM! Instant present. She was so crafty and creative, I told her for years she should’ve taken those talents to a florist or gift shop, especially at Christmas.

Mom didn’t get a fair shake out of life. The years of stress and hard work were taking its toll. In the past two years alone she suffered two heart attacks, two strokes, partial intestinal removal, pneumonia, diabetes and Covid. She had to watch most of her close friends and family die around her. Her father passed in 1999 with her Mom following two years later. Her sister Maureen, whom she loved more than life itself was taken by breast cancer in 2004 at the age of 58. She had the heartache of watching her three closest friends, Midge Hastings, Chris Firestone and Patsy Quinn all pass years before her. There was also the losses of our Cousin John, Cousin Jimmy, Aunt Argie, Aunt Fil and Uncle Frank who she loved as her own parents. She would cry often and talk about how much she missed them, especially her little sister.

We didn’t think we would lose you this soon, Mom. We had so much optimism the bypass operation would give you more quality years with us. You were even in the beginning talks of selling your place in New York and and moving with Robyn, Ray and the kids to Texas to fulfill your remaining years closer to family and make new memories.

I don’t know how to feel about you passing so close to Christmas, Mom. You loved this holiday so much and always made sure we had plenty of presents under the tree and a house filled with our loving family. Maybe in a way, it’s kind of fitting…you brought us together again the way moms do. We’ll always remember and cherish you at this time of year which was one of things you always asked of your children, to remember you with love. We’re grateful to you’ve passed this love for the holiday to us that me may share it with your grandchildren, Michael, Alex and Scarlett.

You always asked, “Don’t forget me and remember me with love”. How could we forget you? You were the greatest woman in our lives. You gave us life, taught us manners, respect and kicked our asses when we got out of line. You made me as much of a man as Dad did. As I sit here next to you, as you take your last breaths, I hope you are enjoying this memorial I have written for you and I hope I’ve made you proud, Mom. It breaks my heart to know you won’t see me standing at the alter on my wedding day or maybe presenting you with another grandchild.

I’ll never hear you call me by my baby name again. I’m so sorry I couldn’t have gotten there sooner to see you before having one last conversation. We don’t want to let you go but we also understand its selfish for us to keep you here suffering. There will be so many emotions and not enough words to describe how much Peter, Robyn and I are going to miss you, Mom. Right now Grandma, Pop-Pop, Aunt “Reenie” and the rest of our late family are waiting for you. Your body has kept you prisoner long enough and it’s time to fly free. We will always remember you with love, Mom.

Your, Schmed

As per our mother’s request, in lieu of a viewing or funeral, the family will hold a Gathering of Life for Diane Pernesiglio, Thursday, December 23rd from 4pm to 9pm at the residence of her son, Peter Pernesiglio located at 32 Oak St., Lake Grove, NY 11755.